My Focus

It's Christmas day and I pick her up and hold her close to me as I walk down the hallway to put her down for a much needed nap. She rests her head on my shoulder. I rock her just a moment and breathe in her scent because I know these moments only last a short time and soon, will only remain a distant memory of days gone by. She wraps her arms around my neck and releases a deep sigh, a sigh of relief, of comfort, of trust. I am her safe place. When she deeply sighs in my arms and her little body relaxes, I feel my pulse slow to match hers and I smile to myself. I hope I am always her safe pillar, a rock of strength she can come to rely on no matter what challenges life holds. I am her mother and I will be there for her, to dry her tears, to hug away her insecurities, to whisper encouraging words that will empower her to change the world.

He wakes up and the sun hasn't even risen yet. He looks at the twinkling tree with gifts gently placed beneath the branches just calling out his name. Instead of screeching toward the tree at the speed of light he stops, walks over to me while reaching for my hand and says, "Good job on all the wrapping, mom." I wasn't expecting that and all I could do was kneel down and hug my sweet son while saying, "Thanks buddy." He is so incredibly thoughtful and tenderhearted. He is so conscientious of other people's feelings and it warms my heart like none else. He wakes up his baby sister and before he even goes to pick a gift for himself he selects the gift he got for her and gingerly delivers it to a very sleepy-eyed little girl. I look at my two kids loving each other in such an obvious way and I breathe a silent prayer, "Thank you Lord for covering all my parental mistakes with your grace. I am so blessed." Christmas this year was at the peak of it's magical essence with my son. His eyes lit up and were ignited with a passion for giving and of course receiving. He hugged me so tightly after each gift opened and I kissed the top of his head while saying, "I love you. Merry Christmas." As he grows older I intend to be very purposeful with my relationship with my son. I want him to always know I am there to love and support him no matter what choices he makes. His presence in my life will always be my present. That is all I want.

After 11 years my heart still beats faster when this man looks at me with his gentle, loving expression. This Christmas was about the kids and we didn't exchange gifts by mutual choice. But I didn't need to receive a gift in order for my heart to feel full. In fact, I found my heart merely exploding as our daughter would pick up and heavy Christmas gift and look at her daddy saying, "HELP. I can't do it! I too small." So daddy would swoop in to save the day helping his little girl lift her gift and unwrap it ever so gently. When our son brimmed with excitement as he opened his presents, my husband & I simply looked at each other and smiled. That's what it is all about. He is my comfort and my rock of security. I love waking up and sharing Christmas morning with this man. He has blessed me with two beautiful children and for that I will be forever thankful.  

This is my family now. Right here.....The four of us. This is where I focus all my energy and attention on. They are my everything and I will forever & always choose them above all else. They are the perfect components that together, make this family a beautiful masterpiece. With God's guidance, I will do whatever it takes to ensure I will walk this journey of life by their side. Everything else pales in comparison to that.